Monday, August 31, 2009

----monthly recap----

this is for those of you (andrew holbrook) who think i write too much. i have condensed the previous 30 or so posts into one for your enjoyment :)

i started out only being able to speak spanish in the present tense. anything i did yesterday was ayer (yesterday) voy al cine (i go to the movies) and in the future was manana (tomorrow) voy al cine (i go to the movies). now i can kind of speak in the imperfect, preterite, and future! praise God! i have had lots of patient teachers and am looking forward to learning more and more.

i started out working in the big house with 'the treasures' - kids like the 3 sisters who can't talk and are in wheelchairs. i did some physical and occupational therapy and lots of reading and coloring with them. my original dream was to teach these kids, but i realized quickly that what they need more than a teacher is time out of their wheelchairs and one on one interaction. the ladies who work here are great, but they're just really busy because they have lots of obligations on their shift.

i just started helping chuy, the teacher, with school. so far we've had one really hard day and one awesome day. let's hope things keep going well! i feel really useful here; he had a month and a half of teacher training squeezed into less than 2 weeks, and so it's been great to work together, bouncing ideas off of each other.

the kids are awesome, amazing, wonderful, insert another adjective here...the smiles on their faces when you're interacting with them are indescribable. absolutely indescribable.

it's been great to draw closer to God as i realize i need him more and more. there have been some hard days and he is really, truly, the only constant in my life right now. he is the only one who i can always go to and know immediately that he has heard my cry for help.

thank you - everyone - for your prayers and support. i think about you often and tell the kids about you and how you prayed for me and helped me in many ways so that i could come here and be with them. they love you too!
woo hoo! school was awesome today, gracias a Dios! i got up early this morning to spend extra time reading my bible and praying because i really wasn't feeling the way i wanted to feel about school. it's safe to say i was dreading it...but God really worked on my heart and showed me how dumb i can be sometimes hahaha. the verse i had written down the last time i journaled was - trust in the lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight - and right then i knew i needed to ask for forgiveness and get excited for school. and it was a great day! i know not every day will be great...but i just have to take it step by step.

i went with jose luis to pick up some kids from a different school and we had an awesome conversation on the way there. we were talking about life in mexico and the states, and how certain cities are really dangerous. i said it's so sad when people live addicted to drugs or alcohol and have no happiness in their lives. he said he didn't understand how God could let that happen, and i was like oh dang, i really don't feel like i know enough spanish to say what i want to say. but i think i got my point across - that God gave us a choice to be who we want to be and do what we want to do, and he's really sad when he looks at his children doing these destructive things, because he wants us to live for and glorify him. he was asking about how i got to be at gabriel house - he thought i was getting paid - and i explained that i had to pay to come here. i'm not sure i said that right because he really couldn't believe what i was saying. then i explained that i was a missionary and he said how great it was that i was serving God. i told him that i'm really happy to be here and while some days are hard, i know this is where God wants me to be. he asked me how i knew that...and i told him because of lots of prayer from me and other people and a strong feeling in my heart, stronger than i've ever felt before. it was really cool to talk to him. he's living an incredibly hard life and he and his family have very little, even by the standards of the area i'm in.
it just amazes me how God uses the lives of his children to bless others. i always wish i could give more, because i feel like people here are giving me so much.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

i slept over at the church again...i'm feeling more and more comfortable there. marta, the pastor, cannot say my name to save her life. it's turned into a joke, and i told her today that she has nine months to get it, so not to worry. a group from glendale california came down for the weekend (weekend!) to work on the computer room. they were in church and one of their guys sang from the inside out - desde mi interior - with the worship band. it was amazing. i don't know why...maybe because it was finally a song i knew all the words to or something but i felt God's presence so clearly i almost couldn't handle it. it was incredible. i felt like part of something so much bigger.
i spent a lot of time with the younger girls at church today, because everyone else was in a meeting for the worship band. clarissa, morressa, and jennifer are adorable. they're really sweet girls and i brought them some extra arts and crafts supplies from gabriel house (thanks wendy!) so we spent the afternoon coloring.

i'm gearing up for school tomorrow. yikes.

here's a video that jedidiah, a surf/clothing company, made after they came down here last christmas.
not much to report today...rocking jaime to sleep may or may not have caused me to get sick...oops! i can't tell you the last time i had a fever - it was terrible! it was also about 100 degrees today. eek. thank goodness for meds! i hung out at the church this afternoon and found out that kerly (adriana and david's daughter) can walk! she only makes it a couple seconds before she falls over. a group from california was at marta's church all week, working on the extra room in the back. group by group and week by week it will get done! 

Friday, August 28, 2009

today was the first day i helped with school. oh. my. goodness.
the kids aren't quite used to people paying such close attention to them, so they were confused when they found out they couldn't just leave the classroom to do whatever they want, whenever they want. chuy, the main teacher, had a month and a half of training that was squeezed into less than 2 weeks. he's doing a great job but is slightly overwhelmed. it's hard too because with some of the kids, i haven't built that rapport yet, so they don't listen to me and don't really have any reason to listen to me.
the curriculum isn't designed for kids with special needs. there's not a lot of interactive, hands on activities, and it's geared toward kids with a supernatural attention span. right now, a lot of kids don't want to be at school. i understand that. but chuy and i need to make them want to be at school. here's to hoping next week will be miraculous!

alexzander, teddy's 3 month old brother, is back. he had some major surgery and his clubfeet are in casts. the good news is he can breathe now! and it's so fun to have a newborn back in the big house :)

martin, an older guy who works at gabriel house, was finally at the big house for most of the day. he has been going to training with chuy for the conafe school, so he would pop in after training to say hi and then head home. he is so great...he's a pastor and has a great heart. he's one of those people that just gives off good vibes. he does a lot of physical therapy with the kids, too. he took me into this extra room today and showed me all these toys...i told him it was like christmas! there were more exercise balls, foam mats and tubes, stand up wheelchairs, and leg braces. woo hoo! we found leg braces for jaime that keep his legs straight, and an arm brace for angelica that stretches her arm and hand out.
martin was telling me that the doctor said jaime has the potential to walk. he needs a special walker that keeps his legs in the right position all day long, and if he has enough time and practice with that, he should be able to walk someday. martin was saying that we should pray for the walker and for strength for jaime - some kind of blessing that will enable him to walk. tonio overheard the conversation and as martin was walking away he pointed to himself, did the sign for pray, and pointed to jaime's legs. then he put his hands on jaime's legs, bowed his head, and started to pray! my heart just about burst. tonio can't talk or walk. he has a head full of thoughts and ideas that he can't express. just like the sisters, his personality and disposition is beyond the capacity of my imagination. how can anything else be as important as when this precious child bows his head to pray for his brother?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

this morning we packed up and left san quintin. it was so stinkin hot...the thermometor in the car is was 109 degrees at one point! becky and i got back to gabriel house around 1, and we went in to say hi to the kids, and we could tell something was just really off. almost all of the kids were sick! listless, feverish, tired, ugh. the ladies said it was because of the heat. i didn't realize hot weather could give you a fever, but hey, i'm no doctor.

jaime was so pitiful. he's always rolling around into the kitchen and the other bedrooms, but i took him out of his chair and he just laid there. LAID there! he didn't even try to sit up! it was so sad. i felt bad for all the sick kids...that's when i want my mommy the most! after dinner jaime was alone in his bed just burning up so i rocked him for awhile and finally he fell asleep. he is so precious.

i had a really good talk with renie today. she was totally on board with what i wanted to do with conafe.
the conafe school started yesterday, and chuy is the main teacher. conafe is a school for kids who can't get to public school for whatever reason, but usually because the kids are far away in the mountains, or migrant camps or whatever. they haven't dealt with children with disabilities before, so we're kind of a pilot program for them. i was originally going to go to the training and be a teacher as well, but you have to be a mexican national. that was okay by me, because chuy will hopefully be here a lot longer than i will, so it just makes sense. chuy has spina bifida and spent 6 years at gabriel house. he left when he was about 15. a week or so before i came, he came walking down the street on his crutches to ask ted and renie for a job. it was awesome...just when gabriel house got approved to be a conafe school, chuy comes walking down the street looking for a job! he had 2 weeks of training and is slightly overwhelmed but doing a great job. i feel like i could be really useful when chuy is teaching, even just with behavior and stuff like that. so the plan is i'll be helping with school from 9-3 and then i'll work with the kids in the big house from 8-9 and 3-5. i'm really excited about this. i'm praying that i'll be effective with school and the kids and a help (not a hindrance!) to chuy and his teaching. i also am praying that my spanish will continue to improve by leaps and bounds every day!

here are some pictures from last week

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

this morning was more reporting, praying, and fellowshiping. we heard from teresa and bookie, an american and mexican who just got married this february. they have such a cool story...teresa has been serving at clinica la esperanza, a base for teams coming to do ministry. it's also a bible school run by bookie's brother, junior. she had been here for about 3 years and then they dated for 2 and then got married! they're adorable.
after lunch we saw their house, which is just down the road...they call it their miracle house because the story behind it is just crazy. it's super cute. i took a nap in the afternoon and then after dinner and communion we went to the church where junior is a pastor. it was awesome! i love mexican church. we sang a couple of my favorite songs and majesty, which we sang at hope all the time. sometimes in spanish the songs are so much more beautiful. one of the lines is something about God waiting for our hearts with his arms open wide...gah! i love it.
there are a lot of mexmed missionaries who are bilingual (obviously) which makes me want to badly to be more fluent. becky's going to language school in january and she'll come back knowing so much more...so i have realized that since i don't have any plans to go to language school for 6 months i'd better get my butt into gear. benjamin pearson the dictionary i stole/took/borrowed from you is about as worn down as my bible. i've been getting grammar lessons from some extremely patient people here and writing everything down. i have figured out that i'm not going to absorb spanish like i thought i would. this isn't kids camp, where i'm surrounded by hundreds of people speaking spanish all day long. i really am going to have to be an active learner and teach myself as much as i can. pray for me, please! i promised myself that i am not going back home until i feel like i can translate for people...so either i've got a lot to learn or i'll be here for awhile hahahaha.

back to gabriel house tomorrow. i'm excited to see everyone again!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

today was so fulfilling. we spent the morning hearing reports from each missionary about the past year at their sites and then praying for them. it's been awesome to hear everyone's story...the things that are going well, the challenges they're facing, and that kind of stuff. we went to the beach this afternoon and watched some people surf, and then we saw dolphins really close to them! incredible.
it has been fantastic to get to know jan and steve's hearts better. steve is the president of mexican medical, and jan is his wife who works at mexican medical too. they are such godly people who completely pour themselves into the mission and dream of mexican medical. jan especially is so in tune with gabriel house and a great resource for ideas and things to do. steve reminds me a lot of my dad for many reasons hahaha. he's super goofy and i feel like i've known him for a long time. they're a great couple who really do everything they can to live out the desires of the Lord.
here's almost all of the missionaries with mexican medical. internet here is super slow...i'll upload a better picture later.

Monday, August 24, 2009

san quintin!

im here at another mexican medical site, about 3 hours away from gabriel house. it's a really cool place...kind of like rancho el refugio. it's a base for teams that come down to do ministry work. almost all of the mexican medical missionaries are here. it's great to meet everyone and hear their stories and realize that the chances of me staying here for just a year are slim to none...more than half of the people here originally came for one week or less, and now they're all lifetime missionaries...yikes.
it's also crazy to me that these people live on the support of others. i was overwhelmed when i had to raise support for less than a year, and these people are doing it each year, for who knows how long. they continually say how faithful God is. how cool :)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

so. no fight. rocio and her mom had an argument that ended with her mom not letting her go. rocio was angry and upset but paco and i spent the day with her, and after telling us the story and processing some stuff we had a great afternoon. we told her that since she is always the one being told what to do, the afternoon was hers to boss around hahaha. she picked where we wanted to eat, what we were going to do, what songs we were going to listen to, and what we watched on tv. she really wanted chop suey...so we went to a chinese restaurant in mexican. the waiters were asian, and they spoke perfect spanish! i shouldn't have been surprised but it threw me off a bit....anyways, it was really nice to be able to take her out of her house for awhile.

i spent the night at marta's and i was so happy to be there. adriana and i talked for a long time. i was really thankful that i could be there. her life's not easy right now, and she doesn't have friends besides the people she lives with. after we had been talking for awhile, i asked her what her dream was. she told me, and part of it was to be in her own house with kerly, her daughter, and to be able to give kerly anything she could ever want or need, because to adriana, kerly is her life and everything she has. adriana is 16, and she would give anything for her daughter. she is such a good mother despite everything that is constantly thrown at her. i hope that she feels this and i hope she knows this.

every time i have a conversation with someone here i am so humbled. with rocio, with adriana, with paco...their lives are so different than mine. our worlds are so different. i don't know struggles that they know. i haven't faced a lot of the issues they face daily. and yet, we all believe in the same God. the same God knows what they deal with, and He knows what i deal with. and He is waiting for every single one of us to run to Him, because His arms are open wide. in the midst of these difficult, hard to understand lives that my friends here are living, i find comfort in this God. i hope that you do too, and please keep praying for these people.

lots of love :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

well, at least now we have a funny story...

last night i was sitting at the kitchen table when someone walks down the stairs outside of our apartment and stands in the open doorway. my back was to her and i thought she was one of the workers...but it was adriana! becky came too, so it was david, adriana, kerly, christian, and his girlfriend lise. in mexican churches, a couple needs to be formally introduced before the congregation to make their relationship official, which is what christian and lise did when i was there a couple weeks ago. they're so cute! christian was a counselor at kids camp...one of the best. i think his kids marched in a line everywhere they went. i can't remember.

we couldn't decide between the time traveler's wife or walled in so david flipped a coin and we saw walled in. before that, we went downtown and got fish tacos, which are definitely growing on me. who would have thought...fried fish! the movie was horrendous. so bad that it was funny. mischa barton was the lead which should had set off some warning signs hahaha. after the movie i told david at least we have a funny story now, about the time we went to that terrible movie...and he said it means we'll have to see another one soon. sounds good to me! the ticket was less than $4. except david paid for everything! it was insane. everyone's dinner, movie ticket, and he tried to pay for the food at the theater but becky and i ran that kid down. he's so generous...and i think a lot of that is the culture here. but let me tell you it's not what i'm used to.

it was so fun to hang out with them. a lot of times i don't feel like myself when i'm speaking spanish, because i can't say what i really want to say. also, sarcasm doesn't translate too well...but last night we were talking and laughing, all in spanish. it was awesome.

paco, eliseo, david, and adriana and i are going to watch rocio's fight today. i'm going to sleep at marta's church so paco doesn't have to drop me off tonight and then pick me up in the morning...so i'll post again tomorrow night.

Friday, August 21, 2009

it rained all day...

even in august a day of rain is possible. yuck. today was still a lot of fun, though.
i spent the morning doing pt with lots of kids. some of the ladies are starting to work with their kids too, which is awesome to see. after lunch the boys stayed at the big house to watch a movie...it's so fun to see the boys interact with the kids i'm with during the day. they love to play with the babies and jaime rolls around while teddy scoots right behind him...alex makes sure all the kids are strapped in their chairs the right way and jose rocks kids in their chairs. it's adorable.
the sisters and i were listening to music on my computer and i showed them a picture of lourdes to see if they remembered her...then i found pictures of the kids from at least 5 years ago. the ladies and i were looking at them and it was so fun! they were laughing and laughing...they told victor to look at the picture of himself when he was skinnier and more handsome hahaha
becky and i are off to the movies with david, adriana, dalia, and kerli. tomorrow...rocio's first fight!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

just call me una vaquera...

i spent the morning doing pt with angelica, eymi, and mimi, and coloring with the sisters. the ladies and i are talking more and more which is so great. they're realizing that i can understand a lot of what they're saying because i laugh when they playfully make fun of people or tell jokes...
they got paid yesterday...we just got blessed with a donation from someone so all the late pay, plus what they should get on time was given out yesterday. school starts on monday and moms have to buy everything including a uniform and pay a registration fee. a lot of the ladies were really relieved, because now they can buy their kids' uniforms just in time for school.

the sisters' absolute favorite song is nina de tus ojos, which we sing in church here a lot and we've heard rocio sing it in the park before. i bought it off itunes last night and played it for the girls today...we must have listened to it 15 times and only because my computer died did we stop! it's so precious - they sing along with the song. here's a video.

most of the kids took naps today so i spent some time with jaime. i've had a special place in my heart for him since i fed him the first day i was here. he is so adorable...he can't crawl or walk but is always rolling all around. he rolls into the kitchen and i found him in the bathroom wrapped up in towels one time. i think the ladies slightly resent me for taking him out of his wheelchair everyday hahaha! he needs to move though...he's one of the few that can.

after dinner i moved from kim's house into becky's apartment where i'll be for the rest of the year. then i went to the boy's house and we were playing a game when we saw a man riding a horse down the street. he was a legit vaquero - cowboy - with an embroided saddle and everything! teddy and sergio were so excited...except sergio wouldn't get any closer than 5 feet from the horse, and teddy wheeled his chair so close to the horse's leg i thought for sure she would kick him. the guy asked one of the ladies if she wanted to ride the horse and she didn't, so then teddy, at the top of his lungs, volunteered me to ride. so i did! he was way more excited than i was hahaha.

it's nice to be settled. the mexican medical staff retreat is monday through thursday, so tomorrow's the last day i'll be with the kids for a week. i'll miss them!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

a routine? no, no, it can't be possible. :)
today was the first day i felt organized. maybe it's because my room is finally clean. who knows. i worked with gabby, eymi, jaime, and the sisters this morning, doing pt/ot and reading with them. eli and sonja love to color, so when all the kids went outside before lunch we colored. they are so much fun. they just laugh all the time...they make me feel special!
we have an exercise ball here that a lot of the kids really like to be on. it's great for them to stretch anyway that's different from their wheelchair or bed, so i put them on their stomachs and move them around while i sing arriba, abajo, adentro, afuerta, siempre soy feliz. (up, down, inside, outside, happy all time). whenever they're out of their chairs, i'm happy, and when they're moving and bouncing all around on a big exercise ball, they're happy too!
in the afternoon i worked with the sisters again and darell, an adorable little baby who's almost 1, and then thelma and i played catch for awhile.
after dinner i hung out with the boys, which is always fun. they love to ride their hand bike, so i take them out in front of the house and we have races, and go through mud, and almost crash into things....they love it!
had some more good conversation with the ladies today...i hope that happens more and more. i may be going to the movies with adriana, kerli, david, and dalia tomorrow. woo hoo!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

today was great! the dental team got here at about 9 and they brought a ton of people. the dentist's office was an old rv that has been converted into an office with two dentist chairs and all the tools and stuff. it was awesome! the kids did great and most of them were really proud to show off their clean teeth. only a few kids had to be anesthetized, which is always good.

one of the guys who came played guitar and he and sergio hit it off...they jammed all day. a lot of mexican women were with the dental team as well and they were great with the kids - they played with them all day long. i wasn't quite sure what to do with myself! it was really good, though, i got to work with kids that i don't usually have the chance to be with.

i finally met jan, who i've been talking to ever since i sent that first email to ted and renie way back in october. it was great to meet her, and i'm looking forward to talking to her more at the staff retreat in a week. becky and i are taking a bus down to san vincente to meet up with the rest of the mexmed staf for a couple days.

eymi puked on me after lunch, and the first day i was here nay nay peed on me. i'm waiting for someone to somehow get poop on me to complete the triangle. ha!

before the dental team left, one of the doctors brought out his guitar and we sang some songs in spanish and english. the boys wanted todopoderoso, and teddy sang it at the top of his lungs. the ladies asked for nina de tus ojos because the sisters love that song. they REALLY love it. they smiled through the whole thing and chely laughed when i sang it to her at dinner. i'm sure it's because of my amazing voice...
it was so cool to sing with the ladies and have all of the kids together, and all of them so happy. i felt like a part of something so much bigger than just me. i hope we have more moments like that!

a few pictures and a video of sergio from t0day

Monday, August 17, 2009

ohhhh monday
the kids feel it and the workers do too. a couple kids just couldn't get it together - they were off and cranky all day. it's hard when you can't do anything for them after you've fed, changed, and rocked them. oh well.

less teaching is happening than i thought. it's ok - i know the kids need to be held too. sometimes i feel like i'm not being as effective as i could. i don't think i'll be at the big house for all ten months...there are some kids down below in the preschool who don't get any school that i would like to work with. the boys, too, outside of school could always use some educational play :)

school starts a week from today. we got approved to be a conafe school. no one is really quite sure what that entails, but two of our staff have been in training for two weeks and will be the teachers here at casa gabriel. not all of the kids who need school will be part of this conafe thing, so i might slip in there and work with the kids who aren't getting school but should be. who knows!

rocio has her first boxing fight on saturday. paco, eliseo and i are going to go. i'm nervous...i think i'm going to be scared of rocio hahaha

a dental team is coming tomorrow to give all the kids a cleaning and whatever else they need. should be fun!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

today was so wonderful!
paco picked me up and we called rocio on our way to church to see if she wanted to come with us. she was still sleeping and freaked out when we told her we were 5 minutes away...hahaha but she came anyways. church was great. we didn't sing that much because the guitar player i think got mugged and his wrist is hurt. david only knows a few songs on guitar so paco jumped in on drums and boom! we had an impromptu worship band. adriana sang too; she was great!
marta talked about the ways of God and how when our way matches up with His, we will be blessed beyond what we can imagine.
they always have a time where people share concerns or what they need prayer for...rocio stood up and told everyone she has her first boxing match this saturday and she asked for prayers for that! everyone was enthralled and all the little girls wouldn't leave her alone after the service...they had so many questions.
adriana and some other people made fish tacos for lunch...they're growing on me...
after the service we went to roca de salvacion to say hi. pastor cande asked me how my papas were doing...i thought he misspoke so i asked him what he said and he said the same thing. i think he's been reading my blog...hahahaha. it was great to see everyone there. all of his kids - eliseo, josue, caleb - anna, abraham, brian, saul from the work project, and lots of other familiar faces. i wish i could be in two places at once - i would love to go to his church but it's hard because if paco gives me a ride i don't feel like i can ask him to take me somewhere else.

paco speaks way more english than i though which is good and bad...we can understand each other better now but i'm not getting anymore practice with spanish. david asked me in church today what happened...he said at kids camp my spanish was so good and now it's 'not so good.' ha! ten months...things will change i hope...

his website is online! not done, but online. www.discipulandia.com. he designed the whole thing himself and it's incredible.

after that we went to the beach with a ton of people from marta's church! it was really close to gabriel house which was nice. they said it's one that hasn't been 'attacked' yet. i was the only white person for miles hahaha. we had to wade through a lot of shallow water before we got to knee deep water...i think it was a bay or something because there were no waves. it was so fun. we were tipping rafts, jumping people from behind, dunking dry people, pretending rocio's dog had drowned, and paddling inflatable boats in endless circles.

...an awesome day full of great conversation and wonderful friends.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

my first real day off! i slept in and unpacked hahaha. the cake people from san diego were here when i finally made it up to the big house to play with the kids. they come about once a month - just for the day! - and bring cake and ice cream to celebrate all the birthdays that month. the kids, especially the boys, LOVE these guys. they were a lot of fun. i had a great day with the ladies, too. they're talking to me more and joking around with me which is always a good sign.

this picture makes me so happy. tonito is helping jamie read, and sergio's looking on. YAY!

tonight there was a party for a son of one of the ladies. she put a huge pinata and cake in the car before she left, and one of the other ladies told us where the party was. we could see the house from the boys' house...it was bright pink but way off in the mountains. teddy and i were watching the house to see if we could catch a glimpse of the party...we swore we heard someone singing happy birthday...

after dinner the ladies had mexican music blasting from the tv and i was dancing with blanca as we were practicing walking. i kept dancing with the kids that were walking through and all the ladies came in to watch me and were laughing hysterically. i'm pretty quiet during the day because i can't have like a full conversation with them, so to see me be my normal self was not what they were used to. i'm sure they were impressed by my sweet skills, too. it was so funny...

Friday, August 14, 2009

allworship.com...24/7 worship music in SPANISH! score.

hanna, the summer intern from baylor university, is leaving today. she spent most of the summer in the preschool and just showed me a TON of stuff that i can use with the kids in the big house. i'm really excited. there's craft type stuff, communication tools, tons of boardmaker pictures, and lots more. it will be great.

i spent time loving on the kids today which was so great. i held thelma, angelico, eymi, and mimi for most of the day! it was wonderful. jamie is still perfectly happy reading a book and playing with a mirror for hours. every time i walk into the room, and i mean every time, sonja lifts her hand up and points to the books. success! she loves to be read to, and wants to turn each page herself.

i talked with one of the workers today, which was great. they speak so DANG fast. i guess i'm used to people who know i can't really speak spanish and purposely slow down and speak
simply. these ladies, i mean, seriously, it's really hard to understand some of them. but it was nice to have a conversation, more or less.

i took this picture from becky...it's ely and sonja on the way to the beach. these girls smile all the time and are always so happy, but i have never, ever seen them smile like this. i wish i could have been here for beach day!


well, i'm off to the mexican circus with becky and angelica! this will be interesting. have a good weekend!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

i have to just say thank you to everyone who is supporting me in every way. it just blows my mind that i haven't even been here for a week, and already i feel like so much has happened. i am seeing significant changes in the kids i have been working with, and i know it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. every morning as i get ready and walk over the big house i just pray and pray that God will use me. to be perfectly honest, i haven't had the slightest idea of what i'll be doing on any given day until i'm actually doing it. it's kind of fun to live that way though, trusting that God will show me what He wants me to do. it's not like i'm listening for a voice thundering down from the heavens, either...it's usually just a strategically placed nino or something simple like that. carlos would be proud - it's kind of like a listening prayer, i think.
thanks also to those who gave me or helped me buy books. it was silly of me to think they wouldn't have any books here...they have tons...but they're all in the preschool room or with the boys in the other house. the kids in the big house didn't have any, and to be fair, none of them can read solo. the sisters love, love, love to be read to and sonja can turn the pages on her own. today, she was waving her arm like she does when she wants something, and i asked the ladies what she wanted. they were like do you want to watch a movie, sonja? and i was like oh great, of course now the tv has to go on. but she said no and they finally figured out she wanted a book. A BOOK! i was thrilled, and i told her that the teacher in me was very happy hahaha.

today was a lot of fun with kids. i'm getting to know them more and more each day...what they like, what they don't like, what they're capable of doing, what they can almost do, and so on. there's a girl, blanca, who's 6 and SO close to walking. she can walk with a walker all by herself...i think she just needs to strengthen her leg muscles. and jamie is getting better and better at fine motor skills. who can imagine what they'll be able to do in a year...

more pictures soon. i wish every one of you could come here and see these faces. all you need is ten minutes and you will not go home the same, i can promise you that.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

so apparently the mexican circuses advertise by bringing the circus right to you

we had lots of visitors today!

in the morning a pickup truck drove by, pulling a cage with a horse, zebra, and pony. right after that was a tiny little car pulling a cage with a monkey! they both turned right down our street and we brought all the kids out to see them...pretty crazy. the staff was like oh yeah, no big deal, they do this whenever there's a circus in town. well then!

then the sisters' dad came! they were so happy to see him...it was awesome. he brought flan for all of them, which they loved, strangely enough. hahahaha

a group from nevada came this afternoon, too, which was a lot of fun. they came in and i was sitting on the floor and they didn't really know what to do with themselves...so i showed them around, and we took the kids for a walk, and they got to see most of the kids. it's funny, i kind of forgot that these kids aren't the norm for a lot of people. everyone in the group was nice, but some of the kids just had no idea what to do. after awhile they realized that the kids wouldn't break if they touched them, but at first it was slightly awkward.

then teddy's entire family came...4 kids, the parents, and a grandma. i have never seen him so happy, and let me tell you, teddy is a happy kid. he was just in heaven. he kept calling his brothers hermanitos (little brother!) and wanted his dad to watch him do everything...jump on the tramp, read a book, see his room...everything. he introduced them to every single person at gabriel house.
becky and i were playing with the boys after dinner, and she swatted at a fly that was on his forehead. he started crying, even though she didn't swat him that hard, and then he just wouldn't stop. we knew it was something else, and she asked him if he missed his parents, and then he started crying even harder. it was so, so, sad. he wasn't happy, joyful, exuberant teddy anymore, he was just like any other 8 year old who wanted his mom. ayyy.
he went to be with his brother. i hope that cheered him up. it just broke my heart to see him cry like that.

i've been working with some of the kids on behavior. we have some hair grabbers, hitters, and other types who i think just don't really know how to interact. it's been cool to see some improvements in behavior. it's only been a few days, but consistency and good examples are always effective. yvonne loves to grab hair, and i've been trying to teach her how to stroke hair and i say con amor (with love) to avoid the ferociousness that she can have. it's so cute to watch her now, because she loves to stroke hair and she's so happy now that people don't pull away from her.

after dinner i looked over at eymi and she was a very strange color and had this worried look on her face. i walked closer and saw that her chest strap was digging into her throat and i really don't think she could breathe. it was so scary but she seemed fine once i picked her up and made sure she could breathe....i'm so thankful something made me look over at her. gahh.

another favorite verse that i think about in context of the kids and the staff i work with:
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 cor 13:4-7

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

creo que no hace ninguna gran error hoy, gracias a Dios

i overslept today...oops! i still can't figure out my dang watch. i only had half an hour to get ready. it was rough. hahaha
i spent a lot of time with jaime today, and it was great. this kid is capable of a lot more than i first thought. he's in his wheelchair most of the time, but when i work with the kids i like to take them out. i feel like they're more comfortable. so anyways i kept him out of his chair for most of the day, and he was like another kid. it was awesome. i could tell that as the day went on his muscles were getting more and more limber, because he couldn't really figure out how to turn the pages of a book in the morning, but by dinnertime, he had it down. he loves to explore, too, which he can't do in his chair. it's a bummer that we can't have all the kids out of their wheelchairs all day, but with the way some of them can move and the size of the room they're in, it just isn't possible. the boys in the other house are having a new one built for them now, and hopefully when that's done jaime can join them. if he's held to a higher standard and interacts with kids who will do that i think he could do a lot.
i realized today too that where i am right now, there isn't a ton of teaching that can be done. i also realized that i'm here for ten months and a whole stinkin' lot will happen in that time. i'm content with spending one on one time with as many of the kids in the big house as i can, and teaching them what i can, when i can. most of them need lots of love and to just be held. some of them could use some behavior modification skills, but most aren't really at a point where learning their colors would improve their quality of life, to put it bluntly.
the kids in the preschool who don't go to school - like the two kids with down's and another with a head injury - would benefit more from what i can give them. we shall see what happens. i love being with the kids in the big house - like i said, they just want to be loved - and really can't believe i've been here for less than 5 days.
the boys and i took a walk after dinner and we got to walk alongside a parked tomato truck and every single one of them just about peed their pants. it's the middle of tomato season, and our street is apparently the halfway point, so at any given moment there are eight to ten semis parked a block away. the boys would be perfectly happy sitting at the gate all day long, waiting for the trucks to move and then waving their hands frantically to get them to honk. it's so fun to be with the boys - teddy is the only one who really talks but they are all just so full of expression. you can tell when they're happy because they freak out, and it's really easy to tell when they're sad, too, but it's easy to cheer them up.
sergio and i were playing the other day, and he brought me inside to listen to music. we must have listened to eres todopoderoso at least 20 times. he just stands there, staring at the speakers, and clapping exactly on beat every time. i have to post a video of him doing it - it's awesome.
hanna, becky, and i just got back from riding the micro to calimax. it was pretty funny. the bus system is so not what i'm used to...there are no stops, you just stand on the side of the road and when a bus honks at you, you either nod your head because you want to get on or look away because you're not waiting for a bus. when you get off, you say bajan and the driver stops. i'm not sure i'll ever get the hang of it...but i'm not supposed to be out alone for awhile so no worries.
the weather has been awesome here...beautiful sunny days and refreshingly cool nights. love it!

Monday, August 10, 2009

with love in the name of jesus. from, hilary's potatoes

so i've decided that for awhile the titles for each day will be some mistake i've made in spanish. they happen so often that this won't be a problem.
i brought the boys the books that my parents bought, and i wanted to write in them so the kids would know they were from my parents or whatever. i knew the name for parents was something that sounded like papa, so i wrote con amor en el nombre de Jesus, los papas de hilary. well no, papas means potatoes. i figured that out about an hour later. the word i wanted was padres...

this morning was a little crazy. i spent one on one time with most of the kids i'll be working with. i was kind of freaked out for a little bit because a lot of the kids need physical or occupational therapy before i can even think about teaching them even the simplest of concepts. i was like...i don't know anything about pt or ot...i mean i definitely can learn but that's not where my knowledge is. i looked through their files during lunch to learn more about them, and then went through some assessments we have here that i'll use tomorrow. this afternoon, i spent some more time with the kids, especially the sisters and jamie. the sisters are really, really smart, they just can't talk. they understand everything people say, and they know a lot of english too, because some people only speak to them in english. i had eymi out of her wheelchair and i said ella es libre! (she's free) but i almost said libro, which means book. so then i jokingly said she's a book! and the sisters laughed so hard i got a little nervous. once i realized they understood everything, we talked all afternoon. it was so fun. i read them books, we joked around, and i really thing God used them to comfort my heart because let me tell you, this morning i was like God, i know you want me here, but i don't know ot and pt...help me use what i know because really, that's why i'm here!

my favorite verse recently has been nehemiah 8:10 - the joy of the Lord is my strength - and i'm sure as time goes on i'll need it even more. it's so simple but says so much.

some of the beautiful faces i get to work with - http://picasaweb.google.com/hilary.e.holbrook/NinosDeLaCasaGrande?authkey=Gv1sRgCK28-66Qnrak2wE&feat=directlink

Sunday, August 9, 2009

tremendoso is not a word. thank you, dávid.

today was a lot of fun but also frustrating. paco picked me up and we went to church together. about 5 minutes before we got there, i realized we were going to marta's church! it was great to be there, and marta invited us to stay for lunch. i hung out with adriana, david, kerli, dalia and some girls who remembered me from kid's camp. we sang the amor letter song about 200 times, but it was fine because i couldn't talk to the ladies anyways. i understood a lot of the sermon, and marta talked a lot about blessings that come when people serve the Lord. paco and i talked a lot before we got to church, too, and we were understanding each other really well, but once the service ended and we were eating lunch together i felt like i regressed a lot in my spanish. i know it's because the women were talking normally and not like i'm 2, which is how paco talks to me. at least i can understand it!
i texted rocio to see if she went to church, and then paco and i stopped by her house to say hi. she wasn't there but we caught up with her downtown and then hung out by the flag for awhile. she did go to church this morning with some of her friends and said the service was great. i was really glad to hear that. earlier this morning i had told paco about the whole rocio story, and it was really cool this afternoon because she opened up to him and he was able to give her some great counsel and guidance. it was so fun to be in ensenada, hanging out with my friends! except i wasn't understanding a lot of what they were saying, and it was so dang frustrating. i know it will get better but i wish i could become fluent overnight :)

becky, hanna, and i walked to a bakery when i got back and then talked for awhile. they have a gorgeous view from the back of their apartment - you can watch the sun set behind the mountains. i hung out with the boys for awhile and watched antonio own everyone in foosball while teddy was the refereed, and then i rocked jose manuel to sleep. let me tell you, i could end every day like that and be perfectly happy, no matter what else has happened. the way babies look right into your eyes is so intense.

tomorrow i start officially working! pray for me :)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

un dia tremendoso!

what a great day. i got up, unpacked a bit, and did two loads worth of nasty dirty clothes. i was on my way to hold the baby when teddy and the rest of the boys (sergio, jose, alejandro, and antonio) said hi to me and told me to come over. they live separate from the big house. i spent the rest of the day with them, and it was so fun. there's a new worker they call chewy who grew up at gabriel house and has some some spinal disabilities but just came back last week to work with the boys. he understands way more english than he lets on and is the strong silent type, but also a lot of fun to be around. he's been helping me with my spanish and also laughing at my ridiculous mistakes hahaha. the brothers - jose, alejandro, and antonio don't speak much but they are so full of expression. they sign a lot, which is cool, and their faces say a lot more than words can. we took their hand pedal bike out one by one and went to a little store to get a treat. it was great to spend time with them and continue getting to know them individually. teddy is the most vocal of the group and he said hi to a man as we passed him on the road. the man invited us into his house, and teddy, being as friendly as he is, started scooting on in and i was like oh snap, i can just see where this is going and i haven't even been here a day...
but jamie was really nice, and his wife juanita worked for gabriel house for about 9 years. she said she'd show me how to make tortillas sometime! jamie showed me about 200 pictures of anyone who had ever been to their house, and those people's kids, grandkids, stepkids, aunts, uncles, and cousins. it was really sweet, and teddy just sat there the whole time with this big smile on his face.
it was so fun to be out with the boys, especially jose, because they can go so fast on that bike. in their wheelchairs or on the ground they're just stuck in their bodies, but on that bike, man, they are free. now if only we could get them an olympic size pool...

i met with ted and renie for about 2 hours to talk about my role at gabriel house. it went really well, and renie and i share a passion for the kids she calls "the treasures," like lidia and the sisters and about 7 more kids. i told her my dream is to work with the kids who are the farthest away from achieving their potential. i want to work with the kids who sit there all day every day with not much to do. i want to engage them and stimulate their minds and help them do and learn as much as they can. so for the next couple of weeks, i'll be working monday through friday from 8-5. i'll spend about an hour with each of the 11 kids one on one, getting to know them individually and figuring out what they can and can't do. after that, i'll assess them, and then start a program based off of those assessments and my time with the kids. it's going to be a lot of work but i'm really excited to get started. i just have to remember to take it one day at a time, and that for kids who have sat around for 7, 8, 9 years, or even way more than that, baby steps are awesome. we shall see what happens!

Friday, August 7, 2009

i'm here! and so tired :)
the team dropped me off around lunchtime and i spent the rest of the day with the younger kids and hannah, a summer missionary from baylor. she's awesome and has already told me a lot of stuff i need to know. she works with kids with aids and hiv, down's, and some other minor disabilities. we went to el poblano for dinner...the original! moo9 peeps you know what that means. it was quite possibly better than #2, even though that will always hold a special place in my heart.

as the team was saying goodbye and i waved to a sobbing meghan and teary lourdes, i turned around to walk to my room. there was a song i could hear in the preschool room...and it was mighty to save, in spanish. i knew right then, once again, that everything was going to be just fine.

i am so excited to be here. i don't know what i'll be doing for the year, but hopefully i'll get a chance to talk to renie, one of the directors, tomorrow about some specifics. oh and teddy's brother is here now too, and he's TWO MONTHS OLD. i certainly know what i'll be doing on my days off...

david from kid's camp gave me a cell phone which has already been a huge blessing, and paco from kid's camp came with us today to see where gabriel house is so he can pick me up to hang. he kept telling me he's my big brother and he wants to be there if i need anything. pastor candy told me no boyfriends, no beach, and no going into the city alone, and adriana and dalia called me today to ask how my first day went. al and rosa have been so hospitable and so many other people too. it is wonderful to have so many awesome people close to me in mexico!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

hello from ensenada! meghan and i snuck away to an internet cafe while everyone else is walking around town. we've been here for a week and let me tell you, it's been amazing. we arrived at the ranch on saturday night and then went to pastor cande's church on sunday. it was so great to see him and his family and be at their church. we were able to present them with enough money for the next stage of their construction project, which was the money we had been raising all summer in the fellowship hall. they were so grateful and in his sermon that day cande talked about how he questioned God - in this time of economic hardship, did He really want them to go forward with this massive construction project? but God told him just trust in me. so far they have taken it day by day and have gotten everything done that they wanted to. monday and tuesday we got ready for kids camp. our team worked so hard, harder than any other kids camp that i've ever experienced. the kids came wednesday and stayed thursday and friday. we had a lot of fun. the singer got dylan ackley, eliseo (pastor cande's son), and i to dance on stage every time we had chapel. it was hilarious and so much fun. the camp was really small with about 150 kids. it was a blessing too, though, because everything was easier. it was easier to connect with kids, easier to feed them, easier to keep them quiet during chapel, and way easier to put them to bed. the speaker did an altar call for kids who felt that they had no hope for some reason - they were abused, or felt unloved, or like they were all alone - which was incredibly moving and quite an experience to be a part of.
saturday was our day off - very much needed. our team was just really spent. kids camp was awesome, like i said, but it was a lot of work. we were gone all day and when we came back, all the american kids had arrived. it's such a crazy transition. kids camp is when kids from the city of ensenada come to rancho el refugio (where mexico outreach hosts camps) and have kind of a sleep away camp for 3 days and 2 nights. they are in groups of 8 -10 with a counselor and helper to each group. there's chapel twice a day and the kids do some bible lessons with their groups as well. we set up a water park with these huge inflatable slides and they rotate through that, games, sports, and arts and crafts. all of the staff except our team is mexican, so obviously everyone's speaking spanish. when the american teams come, everything's the same, except the kids speak english! it honestly takes some time to get used to.
we went to pastor cande's church again - iglesia roca de salvacion - and had an awesome service. eliseo spoke about kids camp and how great it was for the mexicans and americans to be working together for the same purpose - bringing the kids closer to God. graham, lourdes, and i gave our testimonies and the band led us in some incredible worship. it's amazing - in one week i am able to understand immeasurably more spanish. it's such an awesome feeling. last week pastor cande invited us up to be given a blessing, and i asked for prayer with my spanish. he prayed a beautiful prayer - that my eyes and ears would be opened to understand and speak the language. i truly believe that God is central in my spanish improving.

i was expecting to be more and more nervous as the weeks progressed and it got closer to when hopewell would drop me off, but i couldn't be more excited. i saw a lot of familiar faces at kids camp and people were so great - giving me their phone numbers so i could meet up with them, telling me to call if i need anything, and just being so hospitable. i've been telling so many people about what's going on and stuff has just been falling in my lap - a woman came down with a lot of school supplies because she knew they would be needed somewhere. guess where they're going? conmigo to gabriel house! she also has a lot of shoes, and in the kids camp trailer i found a whole box of big books in spanish. i asked al and rosa if i could take them to gabriel house and they said absolutely.

it's been a week and God has been so visible in so many ways. in a year...i can't even imagine the breadth of what's going to happen. thanks for your prayers and support!

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